Write Through Doors

If you are like me, your weekends are precious.  They are my time to be lazy and relax, then get off the sofa and straighten up the mess from the week, and get out of the house to exercise and socialize.  In short, time to recharge my batteries and maintain my life.

Is there a better way to recharge and maintain your life than stepping away from it on a weekend retreat?  I don’t think so!  I can remember every weekend retreat I’ve ever attended. ( I certainly can’t remember every weekend I’ve ever had at home!)

I’m excited to be a part of this upcoming retreat on Sept 16-18, 2011 at the Windrise Retreat Center in Metamora, Michigan with master coach Susan Rothfuss.  I am amazed by Susan’s clarity, positive outlook, intuitive ability to understand people, kindness, and desire to help others move into a better future for themselves. I always feel good just being around her.

I’m honored that Susan asked me to lead the writing aspect of the retreat. I am planning that the writing will be as fun and informative as it is easy.  As Susan says, this writing aspect of the retreat is perfect for everyone, even people who dread writing a thank-you note.

Please join us! The registration form is here. To find out more, give Susan a call at 248-295-2536, or call me at 734-646-5985. If you’ve been looking for a way to do something good for yourself, this is it.

August 15, 2011.

When we visited Al and David in LA over Bob’s “double nickel” birthday,
Al suggested many events.  We went out to eat, went to the Dodgers
game, and watched Fight Club at night in a park on a 15 foot blow-up
screen, with dinner from gourmet food trucks.

But the family wanted to go sky-diving too.  Jump out of a perfectly good
plane?  I liked the idea in theory, but knew I would be terrified.  Another
option Al suggested seemed like a good second choice:  Trapeze School
on Santa Monica pier.  I had always wanted to try it, ever since I saw
some newscasters on TV doing it.  I figured I was in good shape, running,
biking. I’ve always been able to hang with my hands.

Hanging turned out to be the least of my problems.

Little did I know this would be a lesson in LETTING GO!!

Here is the picture book I made of my experience.

To Fly, You Have to Let Go

“How does it feel to have your CC?” asked Annie Wolock, my Ann Arbor Toastmasters and Friends Club president, over a cup of coffee.  The question took me by surprise, because inherent in the question was the magnitude of the achievement—like asking, “How does it feel to be 50?”

Of course, becoming a CC (short for Competent Communicator) took much less time than becoming a 50 year old—two years to be exact.  The two years it took me to meet the criteria (compose and deliver ten club-evaluated speeches) flew by.

At first, I was unaffected by the CC, because I did not join Toastmasters International for the credentials.  Don’t get me wrong.  I am proud to be a CC, just like I am proud to have other letters after my name, like my B.A and M.S.W.   But I originally joined Toastmasters—or “Toastys” as I like to call it—to become a better speaker.  Bada boom. That’s all.

Along the way, I fell in love with Toastmasters and the crazy and creative challenge of speaking.   What make a winning speech?  I’m still learning the answer to that one.   One week I spent 30 hours writing and practicing a complex speech, and the next week prepared a speech just one hour.  Interestingly, both were voted best speech in our chapter’s weekly competition.

I fell in love with the savvy structure of this 87-year-old organization with 260,000 members. Toastmasters International self-perpetuates by grooming leaders and growing speakers — the leaders run the clubs, and the speakers entertain and educate us at every meeting.

I also fell in love with the exceptional people I get together with each week through Toastys.  My club members are diverse, supportive, and passionate about their own self-improvement.

I can be motivated by rewards, like a rabbit attracted to carrots.  Achieving the CC credentials and the ribbons for winning speeches were carrots held just out of reach, and kept me leaving my home and my sweet husband on dark Wednesday nights.

The CC, though, is more than a reward.  I see the CC as a symbol that perhaps—hopefully—I have improved as a speaker over these two years.  And for that, I am very grateful to my Ann Arbor Toastmasters and Friends Club, who, like my mother, delights me by finding me amusing when I am not trying to be, and continues to be unfailingly supportive.

To register, call 734-994-2300 ext. 53203 or visit Ann Arbor Rec and Ed.

Have you ever voted with your feet?  “This movie is horrible, I’m out of here,” you might say—and you’ve just voted with your feet.  Or, you might vote with your feet in a positive way at a rock concert—by standing up and dancing, you’re saying, “I love this music.”

On December 2, 2010 at our Ann Arbor Toastmasters and Friends meeting, Debbie Merion urged everyone to vote with their feet for Lori Harris, who was sitting quietly in the last row of the meeting.  We couldn’t vote for her for Toastmaster of the Year—an award she had recently won—but we could vote for her as “Queen of the Day” with a rousing standing ovation.

Debbie was urging on her fellow toastmasters while delivering a persuasive speech for the Competent Communicator manual, so a little proof was in order.  What had Lori actually done?

To receive the Toastmaster of the Year award, Lori had actually been recognized as having the year’s most valuable contribution to District 28, which includes parts of Michigan, Ohio and Ontario.  Lori formatted and distributed multiple directories of officers and members, not a small task for a huge district that includes 120 clubs, 700 officers, and over 2,000 members.

But that’s not all.  For the last two years, she had been instrumental in creating the printed programs for the District 28 conference, and this year saved the district $500 by getting an excellent printing quote.  No small chunk of change!

There’s more.  She also created the “First-Timers” manual for all who attend the District 28 Conference, based on helping others avoid replicating her own –“less than optimal” first-time experiences.  As she recounted, at her first district 28 conference Lori was twice in severe danger of being arrested by the fashion police –once for wearing business attire when others wore casual clothes, then switching to casual clothes the next day only to find that people were spiffed up in their business best!

Lori hadn’t been able to make it to the District 28 meeting last month to receive her award, so after Debbie persuaded everyone to vote with their feet with a standing ovation for Lori, Lori came up to the front of the meeting and was crowned “Queen of the Day” at Ann Arbor Friends and Toastmasters, and also received her lovely “Toastmaster of the Year” award by Collyer Smith (Division C Governor), Kevin Olmsted (Area 13 Governor), and Annie Wolock (Club President).

“I encourage people to take advantage outside their home club by attending district and international conferences, in order to realize how vast the organization is, how friendly it is, and how it feels like one huge extended family. I think there is an opportunity for everyone to contribute and make it better,” said Lori, in her acceptance speech. “I feel like I should be giving Toastmasters an award for helping me to stretch and come out of my shell.”

The meeting became a festival perfect for a queen.  In our seven-minute intermission, chocolate cake was served, and then Table Topics provided all members with an opportunity to share their insights on success and personal bests.  Each toastmaster addressed their fellow toastmasters, honored guests (including Collyer Smith (Division C Governor), Kevin Olmsted (Area 13 Governor) and Mayna Shumacher of the Washtenaw Toastmasters Club) and of course, her royal highness.

Lori was delighted and surprised to be the focus of the meeting gala and a perfect queen: humble, exemplary and inspiring. “Let them eat cake,” she said, and brought home leftover chocolate cake and her crown to happily share with her daughter. Members went home exhilarated, and slightly sugar buzzed.

Anyone who keeps a journal or scribbles thoughts on a scrap of paper knows that it feels good to write. On the page I am my own therapist, rabbi, and best friend. The heaviness of the words leaves my body, landing on the page, ready to be read again tomorrow or simply torched n a metal trashcan (which I’ve really done, when on a workshop with Blanche McCrary Boyd).

I’m sure that means writing is good for you. “Vhat could it hurt?” my yiddishe grandmom would say.

Now, The Journal of the American Medical Association is backing up my belief with some facts. I first heard about this in an article called Words that Heal in ODE Magazine.

Patients suffering from asthma or rheumatoid arthritis were asked to describe the most difficult moments of their lives or simply write down their plans for the day. Four months later, patients who spent just 20 minutes a day for three days in a row writing about their problems felt better, took fewer drugs to relieve their symptoms and saw their doctors less often. If a pill could have such an effect after just three doses, no physician in the world would fail to prescribe it to all her patients.

Now, if we could just get Obamacare to support this…

Sometimes glue is great.  Dentures.  Scrapbooks.  But for your bum? Yes.  Whatever works.

Today I read Bum Glue, a blog written by Nita Sweeny, who I met in Taos through Natalie Goldberg, when one of us–I can’t remember which–was assisting for Natalie.  Nita writes about writing and starts many of her monthly blogs with quotes like:

“I procrastinate to a point where I’m filled with self-loathing and then I start writing. It’s usually a state of self-loathing that gets me going.” – Michael Lewis

Nita’s most recent blog asked who has a kindle or a nook.  We do!  It’s a dusty doorstop right now.  Another Bum Glue blog entry had a link to novel-writing class by Holly Lisle, which I clicked on, and found it to be as interesting as it was super-salesy.  When I see sites like Holly’s, I’m never sure if I should emulate it or ignore it because it feels so pushy and IN YOUR FACE. But knowing that Nita recommended her holds a lot of weight with me.

When I subscribed to Nita’s monthly posts, I was taken automatically to Google Reader, and then three things happened:

1.  There were a whole bunch of recommended links there got me totally distracted. ARRRRGGG.

2.  I tried to figure out how to see only the links recommended by people I want to read.  Still clueless on this.

3.  I saw a great link from my daughter Sarah, written by Wes Huffstutter from U-M Tech Transfer, who I’ve worked with. As a GLEQ coach, I found Wes’s  post in “Just a Start-up Guy in Ann Arbor” to be totally clear and helpful.

Clearly reading relevant blogs and not drowning in them is a balancing act.  Which leads me to the following photo of Rabindra Sarkar, taken in San Diego recently.

Rabindra Sarkar

I watched this guy balance these huge rocks.  He used no glue.  His trick was tiny frequent micro-movements with his hands, which were as steady as a surgeons, as he kept feeling for the point where the rock wouldn’t lean any more. On youtube, he talked about how much practice it took for him to do that.  Which leads me back to the bum glue.  Writing well or balancing rocks–it all takes practice.

I post.  But I am still in many ways a blogging/twittering/social media moron.

I am technically aware enough to be dangerous. I have taught technical writing at the college level, have documented software for the Navy, and have blogs at debbiemerion.com and essaycoaching.com.

Still, I was inspired yesterday to be a little less blogorific moronic when I listened to President Obama give a speech at UM commencement. He said he reads 10 letters every night. He also recommended reading blogs of opposing views.  I thought –if he can do that, I can read a new blog every day, and write about the blog and or my technical difficulties in doing so.

My goals is to bring my two lives together:  my real life (give me a non-fat latte please) and my virtual life (what’s happening with my friends and the world?—I have to often read it online to find out).

I’m starting with friend’s blogs. Send me yours, I want to read it and follow it!

Dining at Random

Today I decided to start with my friend Elizabeth Sikkenga.  She is my also my friend on Facebook, so I went and got her latest blog information from there.  It is called Dining at Random.  She had told me about this adventure when we were, coincidentally, dining—if you can call having lunch at Café Verde that.

I love her idea of picking a different country to cook a recipe from each week or month.  I want to hear more about this.

I clicked on “subscribe to this blog’s feed” next to her blog and then I was asked which application to use to subscribe to the feed.  I clicked “Google”.  (My daughter Sarah Merion had helped me set up Google Reader as an RSS feed six months ago or so.  A few magic keystrokes of her nimble fingers and she was done.  I had approximately a 10% comprehension rate of what she had done—but it was done!)  Then I saw a screen that asked me “Add to Google Reader or Google Homepage” and I clicked Google Reader.

WOW! Now when I look at Google Reader, I not only see Elizabeth’s “What’s on the Menu?” entry of April 20, but I also see earlier entries, with recipes, starting Jan. 2.  But if I just look at Dining at Random, I don’t see any of those earlier entries.  Maybe Elizabeth or her brilliant computery husband  Henry Velick (who is also an awesome tenor) can enlighten me about why this is.

Do you have a blog that you think I should read?  Tell me about it!

For three years I have wondered who has been drawing the 6 feet long phantasmagorical chalk creatures on the path near Las Vegas Park in the Dicken School area.  I run through that park weekly in the warmer months.   The creatures have captions like “joint eater” and “spooky floating human/vampire hybrid,” but the artwork is never signed.

Last month I finally had an incentive to find the artist and write about him.  I had a deadline!

joint eater

spooky floating human vampire hybrid

Here’s how it all happened:  In March, Kathy Robenalt, director of the Ann Arbor Book Festival Writer’s Conference, asked me to speak at a session at conference on May 15.  Also speaking:  John Hilton, Editor of the Ann Arbor Observer.   I had suggested his name to Kathy– I always found him to be such a precise and helpful editor, ever since he published my first Observer story ( “The Fish Doctor”) in 1994.

Soon I received an email from John asking me if he could interview me about how he helps writers select a focus for a story. Of course, I said, and brought with me an example to work with–the chalk drawing idea to pitch, with photos.

John studied the pictures, and googled their captions to hypothesize about the artist.  Where did he (or she) get his inspiration, John wondered.  Was he into video games?  Could he explain his art as well as he creates it?  John and I discussed where such a story might go in the issue.  My Town seemed the best alternative, so that I could use a more personal voice in the writing, but John had a stack of My Town stories waiting to be published.  Inside Ann Arbor seemed like the most likely place in the magazine.

John encouraged me to write the story, saying it seemed like a good possibility for the May issue. That was all I needed to hear.

The next day was sunny and warm, perfect for a chalk artist to be outside.  I drove over to the park and taped a note on the path asking the artist to call me.  Then I had another idea.  I asked a neighbor hanging outside near the park with her son if they knew the artist, and they did.  “It’s Duncan,” they said.  They pointed to his house down the street.  I knocked on the door,  Duncan’s  mother Melissa came out, and welcomed me to stay and interview Duncan on their porch.  It was as though she had been waiting for me.  And in a sense she had.  She told me she and her husband had asked someone two years ago to write about Duncan’s art!

Duncan came out two minutes later, with a 20 piece box of unused Meijers chalk under his arm.

His mother says she buys  him 10 boxes at a time. In some way Duncan was exceptionally poised and genteel even by adult standards,  pointing to two wooden chairs on the porch, and saying ‘please sit down, I’ll sit in the uncomfortable one”.

His inspiration comes from mythology (he just bought A Wizard’s  Bestiary at Crazy Wisdom) and animatronics that he sees on Youtube or in Halloween stores.  What’s an animatronic?  “It’s something they use in haunted houses—a robot they make to look like a monster.  They move stiffly, so most people don’t care about them. “ To clarify, Duncan acted out the stiff movement, his face frozen in a silent shriek, moving his arms up and down like a robotic monster animal, with herky-jerky repetitive movements.

Don’t mistake his characters as being inspired by the gaming world.  “I despise video games,” said Duncan.  “If someone brings a video game to my house, I ask them sternly to turn it off and make something better with their time,” he said.

Each creature emerges from Duncan’s chalk-covered left hand in about five minutes, without sketches or erasure.   He moves through a mental list of undrawn creatures that have caught his fancy.

Check out the drawings! Here is the location:

http://www.google.com/maps?q=Runnymede+Blvd+%26+Las+Vegas+Dr,+Ann+Arbor,+MI+48103,+USA&ie=UTF8&hq=&hnear=Runnymede+Blvd+%26+Las+Vegas+Dr,+Ann+Arbor,+Washtenaw,+Michigan+48103&t=h&z=16

Read the published story about Duncan and his chalk drawings.